If you don't want honesty, then please stop reading. I'm going to be honest about myself here because God expects me to and I know there are a few others who feel this way, but are ashamed of how they feel as I have been in the past.
There are hours, days and weeks that I just don't like being a parent. I especially don't like being a homeschooling parent who never seems to leave her house. I really don't like being a homeschooling parent of teenagers with issues. There are days that I don't like dealing with my children at all.
Now before you scoff at me, you need to take a walk in my shoes. Let me describe my day to you. This may seem like complaining and in a way it is, but there are enough people out there who would judge me and I feel the need to explain.
My kids are in bed by 9pm every night. The boys fall asleep pretty quickly and so do the teens depending on several things, but most every night they are out by 10pm. This means I should be able to get some good sleep, and for a normal person this would be true. It isn't for me. Most nights, meaning I took something to help me sleep that worked, I am asleep by midnight. This would be ok if I didn't wake up every hour or two tossing and turning. I can list a handful of times that I have slept well and woke up refreshed. Most mornings I feel like I have been run over by a truck and that is after 2 cups of caffeinated tea.
My boys are up by 6am at the earliest, but it is usually about when the sun rises. This means if I want time for myself and for bible study I have to be up by 5am. So even if I do go to sleep by midnight that means 5 hours of sleep a night. You see how this is setting up for a bad situation?
I drag, awaken, my older two children by 7am so they can be up, accomplish their chores, and be ready for bible at 8:30am and school can begin by 9am. They have no idea how spoiled they are to be up that late as they are up after the public school bus has already been through our neighborhood. They would love for me to change their sleeping schedules to let them stay up as late as they want, but sleep is important and they would miss half of their life if they stayed up late all the time, and they would be completing school work instead of valuable time with their dad when he is home. My children NEED their dad. He is vital to keeping balance in this family.
So now they are up and the arguments begin. The older two are tired, "I never let them get enough sleep." According to their doctor they are fine and the sleep they are getting is plenty. By 7am, Pip has asked me 12 times what is for breakfast, and my nerves are running thin because I have told him it is baking in the oven those 12 times. Eating gluten free is hard, when you make everything from scratch everyday for every meal. If you have food allergies or children with food allergies you know what I'm talking about, but you do it because you know it is vital to their lives.
So while breakfast is cooking I look over the menu for the day to make sure I have everything I need for lunch and dinner, finding out half the time that "someone" has eaten something that I needed for a meal later that day. I'll foolishly ask, but an argument ensues as no one remembers eating it themselves, but are sure that someone else did it. This means I have to either leave out that ingredient or plan something else. At this point I am ready to go back to bed and praying the day will start off differently, but I know I have to keep going on.
So breakfast has been eaten and the chores begin. It is usually a quiet time in the house as we are all busy, except for Pandora playing in the background. Each of my children have their assigned chores and I go through making sure they are "done to the list." Yes, I have a list for each room so my children know what the standard is and it keeps me in check to make sure I don't change the rules. It has worked well for our family, but I still have to check their work and if it doesn't meet that standard then the complaining starts about the stupid rules, stupid chores and how their friends don't do chores because "their mom's are good moms who keep a spotless house all the time instead of being lazy and useless."
All of this is before 8:30am. UGH! We stop at 8:30am and sit down for our family bible lessons. I've tried starting school without it and the day goes down hill FAST if we don't start our day off with God. Some may think I am being over dramatic about this, or I'm using our family bible study as a crutch, but I say to you YES IAM! It is THAT important and it is my daily crutch. Everyday God seems to know exactly what our family needs for the day. When attitudes get out of whack, when we start complaining, grumbling, having a lack of grace for each other, that we KNOW God has for us, we remind each other of what we studied. It is HARD to take criticism from my children about my bad behavior, but God gave them to me to help me grow and be a better person, and so I better accept this with Grace or not only will I not grow, but they won't either.
It is only 9am and I'm already tired. I've had my personal bible study, made breakfast, Pip and William are up, got the other two up at 7am, ate, chores, the daily chore argument, and had bible study. By this point I know how the day is going to go. You can tell me I'm being negative, and I will say again, walk in my shoes, because there is a lot I'm not talking about here.
You see in among all of this I am dealing with William. He can wake up feeling great or he can be grumpy and will never see the light of day. My William isn't your typical child that you can just say get over it and he is over it. We have to walk through things. If something in the schedule changes for him that is the worst thing that could happen. He falls apart. Since we have changed up his medicine and gone gluten free, sugar free, it has gotten better, but he is still sensitive. This is part of his autism.
William is my cleaning buddy while the others work on their own. This can cause jealousy and has caused a meltdown a few times of the other three, but if I don't stay with William he will not complete his tasks. I've explained it to the older two, but they don't care. While Pip, he seems to understand it better, but just wants time with me, so I've added two buddies and the boys do their work together. The jobs are perfect, but they are accomplished and if I wanted perfect I would do it myself and my children would NEVER learn anything.
By 9am I am emotionally and physically drained. I've already drank a pot of tea, prayed more times in 3 hours than I do in month and shed more tears that I do with a sad chick flick, all this and my day has just started. This is my typical morning.
When we decided to have children, I NEVER realized how exhausting it would be. I mean I knew I could be a brat as a kid, ok a real brat, but this is beyond my scope of understanding. Then you add Autism into the mix with teenage hormones and you have insanity. I thought I would be like these women who are always well dress, always smiling, never bothered by anything. That somehow my joy would always be filled up and nothing would ever get me down. This is the life I wanted isn't it? I wanted this and it would make me happy, right???
Why is it instead I find myself exhausted, emotionally? Why is it that I find myself just wanting to stay in bed with the covers over my head, crying myself back to sleep? The answer is this PARENTING ISN'T FOR WIMPS!!!
Parenting isn't for the faint at heart. Being a parent of a "normal" child will stretch you to your limit, add a couple of children with learning disabilities and you are crying to God daily asking Him if He is sure He chose the right woman for this job, because you are pretty sure He didn't.
I am the one who disciplines my children on a daily, no hourly, no minutely basis. I'm the one that has to not only tell the teenager why they can't do it their way, but why it has to be this way. I'm the one who hasn't been able to use the bathroom on her own for 14 years, unless they were all gone for the day. I'm the one who is suppose to have a good attitude and not allow their bad one affect mine. I'm the one who is suppose to be awake and being mom even when I've not slept for two days due to a migraine. Finally I'm the one who usually has to hand out the consequences when there is bad behavior from selfish attitudes.
All of this is hard on me. I'm tired. I sometimes really hate my job. I sometimes wish I could dump them in public school so someone else could raise them for me. I sometimes just want to quit. So why do I get up every morning and do it again and again? Because I hear my grandma telling me that Parenting isn't for wimps and she KNOWS I'm no wimp. Well grandma I hate to disappoint you, but I am. If I wasn't a wimp I certainly wouldn't be posting this here. I certainly wouldn't be questioning my job and I certainly wouldn't be a disappointment or as someone once said a poor example of what a Christian woman is suppose to be.
Maybe I'm not your idea of what a virtuous woman is suppose to be. I KNOW I'm not the best at the job. I will tell you it isn't my prayer either. Each morning I get up and pray to God that I will live up to HIS standards. I will live my life showing the grace, love and mercy He has shown me. That I will not grow weary in doing good. That I will finish the race that is before me. That when I lay my head down at night, I know that I have, while not being perfect, have given my family and my God everything I had to give. That I am drained of all I am and have poured it onto the people who matter most.
Some days are better than others. Some days I wonder why I got out of bed in the first place. Some days I go bopping through and don't realize the time until Pip tells me, mom it is 6pm and you have dinner ready. LOL
I am sure I am no one's ideal woman, wife, parent or child of God, but I am thankful that I don't have to measure up to the standards of humans who don't walk in my shoes. I have to measure up to the standards of God who knows my life, heart, desire, pains, sorrows, weakness, and love. He is the one that will fill me up each night making me ready to face another grueling day of being a mom.
I was up one night when all of this fell into place for me. I was reading about another mother who had opened her heart and talked some about her struggles. I start judging her when it was placed upon my heart that I was doing the same thing that others do to me. It's easy to look and and just KNOW how the other person should live their life, isn't it? I came to realize that God will be a righteous and merciful judge. I also realized that I was like her and all I wanted was for someone to understand, for someone to not be one more thing that tears me down in the world of parenting and being a child of the King.
So here before the world, I say I am a SINNER. I put my foot in my mouth all the time. I say stupid things that make sense to me, but to others is foolish and immature. I lose my patience with my children all the time and I mean ALL the time. I do not set a perfect example to my daughter of what it means to be a godly wife and mother. I have tired, and beat myself up emotionally, but I can't ever seem to have a perfect day. I don't treat other people the way I want to be treated. I pass judgement on them. I some times refuse to forgive wrongs that have been committed against me. I don't always like being a mom. I certainly don't always like being a homeschooling mom. I get jealous of other women who have careers and make wonderful money, thinking that could have been me, if I had wanted it too. I could have been somebody instead of just a punching bag.
These are just a few of the things that are in my head and on my heart. I'm sure most of you will have just one more reason to look down on me. I know there are some that already do, they have made no bones about how I am unfit as a Christian wife and do not want their children around me, especially their daughters. This path I am on is hard at times. There are times I just want to quit. I know that if I want to see my God in the end I have to keep moving forward. Even if there are people passing judgement about me and my choices, I have to keep moving and let them fall behind me. It is the painting of how God sees me that matters, not that of the other "Snoodles," that are weighing down my backpack.
I will end with one last thing as I know this is already long enough. I have a friend who told me about her last time talking with another mom. This mom was having a hard time being a mom and wife. She was tired, worn down, and feeling desperate. She didn't know what to do, so she turned to her "perfect" friend to help her. Well, instead of taking this opportunity to build this woman up, she told her that her "attitude was awful and that things will never change unless she stopped being so selfish. Her husband and children deserved her best not the waste that she had allowed herself to become. If she stopped worrying about herself, stopped being a wimp, and lived for her family things would be fine." This woman ended up telling her how ashamed she was to call her friend, that she didn't want her children to come over and be infected by her, that she would pray for this woman's children and husband and that the world would be a better place without pathetic people like her. That night this woman had her husband take the kids with him while he went to the store. While he was gone she quietly slipped into their bedroom and shot herself. She was there when her daughter age 10 found her.
This "godly" woman, who claimed to be her friend, was the last person she really spoke to. This woman helped Satan destroy this other soul with her judgement and cruelty. This woman helped Satan set up a legacy of destruction that will go for generations. The sad thing is that at the funeral all she could say was, "well her children will heal faster without her there to bring them down with her negativity." I wanted to SCREAM! I wanted to SMACK this person! I did neither, but I did stop having much to do with this person and over the years I have lost most contact with her. I do know that her children are NOT faithful to God in anyway at all.
I guess my warning is this, Do NOT pass judgement on others. You have no idea what it is like to be them. You have no idea what is going on in their lives, bodies and heart. You have no idea if they love God and are trying to serve him, but just don't meet your standards. Not only does passing judgement on others destroy them, but it also allows you to play at being god, which will destroy YOU as well.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Family Recipe Stories
While cleaning my bedroom this week I found a box full of recipes. These are papers that I've torn out of magazines, mini cookbooks, newspapers and all kinds of odd and end places. I thought it was time to start sorting them.
Most of them were from Taste of Home Magazine and other magazines from the same company. It is while looking over these that I was reminded of something. Every recipe has a story. This is one of the things I LOVE about Taste of Home magazine, besides the fact that it is cheap. With almost every recipe the person who submitted it also adds a little blurb about where it came from. Sometimes these recipes came from their mom, sometimes they found it at a pot luck and sometimes it is just some thing they made up in desperation to feed their family on what they had in their home.
To the casual reader it doesn't matter as long as it tastes good, but for someone who loves food and the memories that come with it, it is where it comes from that makes it taste so good. You know exactly what I'm talking about. For Stephen it is things like Molasses Sugar Cookies. It takes him back to being a little boy and trying to sneak them out of the cookie jar this along with Strawberry Pie makes him think of his mother. Now if you give him Chocolate Pie or homemade biscuits he thinks of his Great Grandmother Raymer. While for me fried Okra makes me think of my Grandma Minton and homemade noodles makes me think of my Mimi. These are just a few of our favorites, but it is the people they are tied to them that makes them even more valuable.
These recipes have history and weight for our family. They have become part our our children's heritage. They have become part of our family story. Stephen can't eat a Strawberry Pie without telling stories of trying to sneak strawberries while his mom wasn't looking, even though we mother's know better. When he eats Chocolate Pie or makes biscuits, he tells stories of his great Grandmother. These ties that bind generations. This gives my children references not only to food, but to where they came from, and these stories will be passed down to their children and so on.
This has brought me to think about the Raymer/Hatcher cookbook. Several years ago, my mother-in-law blessed me with a copy of a cookbook she had pulled together of family recipes. I probably submitted more than I should have, but she took them all and added to them all of the others. When it comes to things to make, it is my go to source. I think I have tried everything in there at least once. Some of these have become standards for my family. Family traditions being passed down to the next generation. Stories that are part of who we are, where we came from, and why we are here today.
I have begun the process of retyping up this cookbook, not only for myself, but for the rest of the family. With this I plan on adding a family tree of the wonderful women in the family. I want my daughter to have a copy of this, but not only her but her grandchildren and great grandchildren as well. As I told her this is a living cookbook. It will grow as our family grows. It will evolve and develop by adding more recipes and more stories. Though I am only a Hatcher by marriage, I have been blessed and touched by every single one of these women because they helped mold and shape the man who is my husband and the father of my children. It is because of this gift they have given me that I wanted to continue to share their love with the rest of my family for generations to come.
It is while I am doing this that I am also beginning a cookbook of my side of the family. I want my children to have a rich heritage, especially my daughter. I want her to know that she comes from wonderful women who have blessed their family with amazing food. Food that not only fills the body, but the heart and soul. That with her labor of love comes rewards beyond mention. I want her to understand that by doing her part in her family that she will join the ranks of some great women, women who helped make her who she is.
With all of that being said I thought I would share one of the family "secret" recipes. Stephen said if he could only have just one recipe from his family continue it would be this one. The older two children were in agreement. It is their all time favorite. According to Audrey, "this is the recipe that just says Grammy." So without further ado here is my Mother-in-law's Molasses Sugar Cookies.
Most of them were from Taste of Home Magazine and other magazines from the same company. It is while looking over these that I was reminded of something. Every recipe has a story. This is one of the things I LOVE about Taste of Home magazine, besides the fact that it is cheap. With almost every recipe the person who submitted it also adds a little blurb about where it came from. Sometimes these recipes came from their mom, sometimes they found it at a pot luck and sometimes it is just some thing they made up in desperation to feed their family on what they had in their home.
To the casual reader it doesn't matter as long as it tastes good, but for someone who loves food and the memories that come with it, it is where it comes from that makes it taste so good. You know exactly what I'm talking about. For Stephen it is things like Molasses Sugar Cookies. It takes him back to being a little boy and trying to sneak them out of the cookie jar this along with Strawberry Pie makes him think of his mother. Now if you give him Chocolate Pie or homemade biscuits he thinks of his Great Grandmother Raymer. While for me fried Okra makes me think of my Grandma Minton and homemade noodles makes me think of my Mimi. These are just a few of our favorites, but it is the people they are tied to them that makes them even more valuable.
These recipes have history and weight for our family. They have become part our our children's heritage. They have become part of our family story. Stephen can't eat a Strawberry Pie without telling stories of trying to sneak strawberries while his mom wasn't looking, even though we mother's know better. When he eats Chocolate Pie or makes biscuits, he tells stories of his great Grandmother. These ties that bind generations. This gives my children references not only to food, but to where they came from, and these stories will be passed down to their children and so on.
This has brought me to think about the Raymer/Hatcher cookbook. Several years ago, my mother-in-law blessed me with a copy of a cookbook she had pulled together of family recipes. I probably submitted more than I should have, but she took them all and added to them all of the others. When it comes to things to make, it is my go to source. I think I have tried everything in there at least once. Some of these have become standards for my family. Family traditions being passed down to the next generation. Stories that are part of who we are, where we came from, and why we are here today.
I have begun the process of retyping up this cookbook, not only for myself, but for the rest of the family. With this I plan on adding a family tree of the wonderful women in the family. I want my daughter to have a copy of this, but not only her but her grandchildren and great grandchildren as well. As I told her this is a living cookbook. It will grow as our family grows. It will evolve and develop by adding more recipes and more stories. Though I am only a Hatcher by marriage, I have been blessed and touched by every single one of these women because they helped mold and shape the man who is my husband and the father of my children. It is because of this gift they have given me that I wanted to continue to share their love with the rest of my family for generations to come.
It is while I am doing this that I am also beginning a cookbook of my side of the family. I want my children to have a rich heritage, especially my daughter. I want her to know that she comes from wonderful women who have blessed their family with amazing food. Food that not only fills the body, but the heart and soul. That with her labor of love comes rewards beyond mention. I want her to understand that by doing her part in her family that she will join the ranks of some great women, women who helped make her who she is.
With all of that being said I thought I would share one of the family "secret" recipes. Stephen said if he could only have just one recipe from his family continue it would be this one. The older two children were in agreement. It is their all time favorite. According to Audrey, "this is the recipe that just says Grammy." So without further ado here is my Mother-in-law's Molasses Sugar Cookies.
Molasses Sugar Cookies
By Joyce Hatcher
¾ c shortening (you can half this with butter)
1 c sugar
¼ c molasses
1 egg
2 t soda
2 c flour
½ t cloves
½ t ginger
1 t cinnamon
½ t salt
½ c white sugar for coating
Mix ingredients. Cool in refrigerator for at least an
hour. Roll into 1” balls then in
granulated sugar. Place on greased
cookie sheet about 2” apart. Bake at 375
for 8-10 minutes.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Finding Peace in the Midst of Depression
Before I start here, let me add this disclaimer: I really don't feel like I know what I'm doing so please take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt. Also I am being very honest here so please be kind. These are just some things that have worked for me.
I have never been a morning person as I have sleeping issues, but when I wake up I am usually chipper and moving. It was a friend of mine who took me out to dinner before I left Pennsylvania that told me about a promise she made to herself. She promised that she would get up every morning and take a shower, get dressed and take care of herself. This amazed me because she has 4 little ones just like I do, yet she finds time for herself everyday. It wasn't until last year when I lost the baby that Kelly's words came back to me, but this time it was from my dad's mom. She knew that I was hurting, depressed and in some ways desperate. She told me very seriously to make sure I change my underwear everyday. This isn't what Kelly said, but it is the same concept.
Both of these women were telling me to make time for myself. They aren't talking about me going away on a trip spending hundreds of dollars, but doing something for myself everyday. This was a hard concept to swallow as it seemed selfish to me. I wanted to be a SAHM, shouldn't I put my children first? They should be my highest priority, shouldn't they? But what are they really telling me to do. I spent some time in prayer about this as I always do when something is weighing heavily on my heart.
These are the things that God laid on my heart to ponder and what I want to share with you.
1. Christ went away to recover. I am not claiming to be Christ or to even understand what He went through, but with that being said I am smaller and weaker than He is. This tells me that I need to take time to heal and recover physically and emotionally. If Christ needed it, then how much more do I as a weaker human need this same thing. This can be solved in many ways. It could be curling up to read a book on a rainy day while my children either do the same or play a board game. It could be taking a walk admiring God's creation. It could be enjoying my favorite hobbies. It could be enjoying fellowship with a friend. Any of these things take me away for a moment from the weight and responsibility of being wife and mom. I am not running away permanently, but just taking a break a breather.
2.We all empty ourselves out when we give and need to be refilled. While this is true something that is just as important is what do I fill myself with. I will admit that I use to fill myself with fluff. I would read nothing but fiction, watch movies, Facebook games and silly TV shows. Now I'm not saying these things are bad, but everything needs to come in moderation. If you noticed no where did I say study God's word! I was filling myself with things that are shallow, so all I had to give of myself to those around me was shallow. I have found that when I fill myself with Godly, wholesome and up lifting things, that I what I give to my children and those in my life are Godly and wholesome things.
3. Christ came to serve not to be served. If Jesus who is God came to serve, then who am I to sit around and not serve others. I can't call myself a Christian and not be Christ-like. My mother-in-law reminded me that when I am feeling down that the best way to pull myself together is to do something for someone else. It doesn't matter what it is, but the serving of others lifts the spirit like nothing else can. I have seen this in my children as well. Though what happened in Henryville was horrible, my children were happier when they were helping. I have never seen them smile more than when they were serving others. My Audrey has made meals for a family who's mother has health issues. She knows she is blessing them, but the blessings that have poured on her are HUGE! This has made be begin to look for other ways we can begin to do this on a regular basis. It is my hope to be posting about that soon.
4. Do not allow me to get in the way of myself. It is very easy for me to be a perfectionist. It doesn't help that I am a first born, but I am the first born of a first born. I also married a first born who was the son of a first born and so on. (I pity my oldest.) I have a tendency to allow my perfection to get in the way of accomplishing anything. I have horrid thoughts run through my head like: Why should I do the laundry there will always be more? Why do the dishes the kids will just dirty up more? Clean the house? Why is anyone coming over? These things have set on my mind and heart for years. I've allowed them to fester and they have hurt not only me but my husband and children. My perfectionism is not from God, but from Satan. It is Satan's way of trying to destroy me. I'm not saying I shouldn't try, but that I should be thankful for the mess and for the ability to do what I can do instead of complaining about what I can't do.
5. Finally you can't have peace without contentment. I have spent most of my life rushing around from one thing to the next hoping to find peace and happiness. Not only is that fruitless, but it is exhausting. Nothing ever seemed to make me happy. As I child I looked to people to make me happy, never understanding that people fail and that forgiveness is necessary. As a teen I looked to peers to make me happy, never realizing that they were just as lost and sometimes desperate as I was. As a wife I looked to my husband to make me happy, never giving him the grace that I expected him to give me. As a mom I looked to my children to make me happy, but the first time they disobeyed I became angry. If they loved me they would never disobey. Can you see my problem here? I was looking around me for contentment and peace instead of looking up to where all good things come from.
I'm not saying I have this down pat. I am better at getting a shower everyday, as long as I don't have cluster migraines. For the past few months I have spent time daily with God. No this isn't time I set aside in the middle of my day. This is the first thing I do in the morning after I am dressed for my day. He is given the first part of my day and the day is so much better. I am working on giving my family the grace that God is giving me. It is a daily fight, but one I refuse to let go of the wheel on this.
I still have dreams. I have even started a dream journal. In it you will find things like wall colors for painting a room, designs for flower beds, books I want to read, and meals I want to cook just to name a few. I spend time daily reading to my children, not only books for school, but from God's word. I share with them my love for him.
Am I at peace? Am I no longer depressed? I don't know the answer to that. What I do know is this. Like the lightening bugs that my children are start to catch as summer comes on, I see glimpses of hope, peace and God in everything around me. I feel that I am finally starting to grow up, to become the woman that God planned for me to be. I'm far from perfect, but I am perfectly loved. I am adored. I am beautiful to my creator. It is in those things that I find peace and comfort in my life.
It is my prayer that you will too.
I have never been a morning person as I have sleeping issues, but when I wake up I am usually chipper and moving. It was a friend of mine who took me out to dinner before I left Pennsylvania that told me about a promise she made to herself. She promised that she would get up every morning and take a shower, get dressed and take care of herself. This amazed me because she has 4 little ones just like I do, yet she finds time for herself everyday. It wasn't until last year when I lost the baby that Kelly's words came back to me, but this time it was from my dad's mom. She knew that I was hurting, depressed and in some ways desperate. She told me very seriously to make sure I change my underwear everyday. This isn't what Kelly said, but it is the same concept.
Both of these women were telling me to make time for myself. They aren't talking about me going away on a trip spending hundreds of dollars, but doing something for myself everyday. This was a hard concept to swallow as it seemed selfish to me. I wanted to be a SAHM, shouldn't I put my children first? They should be my highest priority, shouldn't they? But what are they really telling me to do. I spent some time in prayer about this as I always do when something is weighing heavily on my heart.
These are the things that God laid on my heart to ponder and what I want to share with you.
1. Christ went away to recover. I am not claiming to be Christ or to even understand what He went through, but with that being said I am smaller and weaker than He is. This tells me that I need to take time to heal and recover physically and emotionally. If Christ needed it, then how much more do I as a weaker human need this same thing. This can be solved in many ways. It could be curling up to read a book on a rainy day while my children either do the same or play a board game. It could be taking a walk admiring God's creation. It could be enjoying my favorite hobbies. It could be enjoying fellowship with a friend. Any of these things take me away for a moment from the weight and responsibility of being wife and mom. I am not running away permanently, but just taking a break a breather.
2.We all empty ourselves out when we give and need to be refilled. While this is true something that is just as important is what do I fill myself with. I will admit that I use to fill myself with fluff. I would read nothing but fiction, watch movies, Facebook games and silly TV shows. Now I'm not saying these things are bad, but everything needs to come in moderation. If you noticed no where did I say study God's word! I was filling myself with things that are shallow, so all I had to give of myself to those around me was shallow. I have found that when I fill myself with Godly, wholesome and up lifting things, that I what I give to my children and those in my life are Godly and wholesome things.
3. Christ came to serve not to be served. If Jesus who is God came to serve, then who am I to sit around and not serve others. I can't call myself a Christian and not be Christ-like. My mother-in-law reminded me that when I am feeling down that the best way to pull myself together is to do something for someone else. It doesn't matter what it is, but the serving of others lifts the spirit like nothing else can. I have seen this in my children as well. Though what happened in Henryville was horrible, my children were happier when they were helping. I have never seen them smile more than when they were serving others. My Audrey has made meals for a family who's mother has health issues. She knows she is blessing them, but the blessings that have poured on her are HUGE! This has made be begin to look for other ways we can begin to do this on a regular basis. It is my hope to be posting about that soon.
4. Do not allow me to get in the way of myself. It is very easy for me to be a perfectionist. It doesn't help that I am a first born, but I am the first born of a first born. I also married a first born who was the son of a first born and so on. (I pity my oldest.) I have a tendency to allow my perfection to get in the way of accomplishing anything. I have horrid thoughts run through my head like: Why should I do the laundry there will always be more? Why do the dishes the kids will just dirty up more? Clean the house? Why is anyone coming over? These things have set on my mind and heart for years. I've allowed them to fester and they have hurt not only me but my husband and children. My perfectionism is not from God, but from Satan. It is Satan's way of trying to destroy me. I'm not saying I shouldn't try, but that I should be thankful for the mess and for the ability to do what I can do instead of complaining about what I can't do.
5. Finally you can't have peace without contentment. I have spent most of my life rushing around from one thing to the next hoping to find peace and happiness. Not only is that fruitless, but it is exhausting. Nothing ever seemed to make me happy. As I child I looked to people to make me happy, never understanding that people fail and that forgiveness is necessary. As a teen I looked to peers to make me happy, never realizing that they were just as lost and sometimes desperate as I was. As a wife I looked to my husband to make me happy, never giving him the grace that I expected him to give me. As a mom I looked to my children to make me happy, but the first time they disobeyed I became angry. If they loved me they would never disobey. Can you see my problem here? I was looking around me for contentment and peace instead of looking up to where all good things come from.
I'm not saying I have this down pat. I am better at getting a shower everyday, as long as I don't have cluster migraines. For the past few months I have spent time daily with God. No this isn't time I set aside in the middle of my day. This is the first thing I do in the morning after I am dressed for my day. He is given the first part of my day and the day is so much better. I am working on giving my family the grace that God is giving me. It is a daily fight, but one I refuse to let go of the wheel on this.
I still have dreams. I have even started a dream journal. In it you will find things like wall colors for painting a room, designs for flower beds, books I want to read, and meals I want to cook just to name a few. I spend time daily reading to my children, not only books for school, but from God's word. I share with them my love for him.
Am I at peace? Am I no longer depressed? I don't know the answer to that. What I do know is this. Like the lightening bugs that my children are start to catch as summer comes on, I see glimpses of hope, peace and God in everything around me. I feel that I am finally starting to grow up, to become the woman that God planned for me to be. I'm far from perfect, but I am perfectly loved. I am adored. I am beautiful to my creator. It is in those things that I find peace and comfort in my life.
It is my prayer that you will too.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Setting and Accomplishing Goals
On January 1st of every year we have a family planning meeting. We set goals as a family and allow others to help us in the setting of goals. Once a month we sit down to a fun easy meal and go over the goals. This has worked well for the past three years and we will continue down this path.
I'm also a crazy to-do list kind of girl. My husband knows, if I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed out because of things going on in our life, that the way to make me feel better is to tell me me make a list. So it is to daily to do lists that the day to day things are accomplished. Sometimes Stephen will even add things to the list and I really enjoy that because I know it is something important to him that is going to be accomplished that day.
Recently though I began reading a blog called She Learns As She Goes. This newly married lady has inspired me with not only her zest for life, but also her talent. There are things she is doing in her marriage that makes me wish I could start over and accomplish some of these things, but the past is the past and I will just implement them now with joie de vivre.
Today she set her goals for the month. These are things that take longer than a day, but it doesn't allow you to become lax by having an entire year to accomplish them. This allows me to have a close, but far enough away deadline so that I can accomplish some bigger goals. At the end of the month, she gives herself a report card grade of what she has accomplished. I have decided this would be a great thing for me to do so here I go with my goals for May.
1. Eat from my menu daily. I know for some this isn't a big deal, but for my family this can be a really big deal. With this being the worst time of the year for my allergies and sinuses, this will be difficult, but I know it will be better for us financially and physically.
2. Keep a company ready house. My house is never spotless and most of the times I'm fighting clutter and the chaos of children or my half finished projects. At one point I had written down what a company ready house was, that list is on one of the computers in the house. I need to find it and post it for the entire family.
3. Finishing reading 2 books. I am the world's worst person about starting a book and never finishing it. Don't ask me how many I have sitting around about half way finished. This month my goal is to finish at least 2 of those books.
4. Read to the kids daily. I'm usually really good about keeping up with this, but there are days that it isn't a priority. I need to make it a daily priority to make sure my children are being fed with good books, grammar and syntax.
5. Declutter my bedroom. My bedroom is the place where things go that no one else knows where they belong, at least according to my children. It is time the clutter moves out so it will become a relaxing place for my husband and I.
6. Clean Carpets. This hasn't been done in a year and boy can I tell. It is time to spruce up my carpets and see if what color they are again.
7. Declutter yarn. I only collect two things Books and Yarn. A while back my kids and some of their friends used my yarn for bombs. Some of them are still in tangles and some were tossed. I need to spend some time going through what I have to see if it is salvageable or time to pitch it. I have some big projects coming up and I want to make sure I have what I need before I start them.
8. Blog weekly. I have not been consistent in my blogging and I really regret this. There have been some wonderful things happen in my life that I think at the time would be great to share, but I never seem to get around to it. By making this a goal, I will make sure to accomplish this.
I know there are a lot of goals here, but some will be short and others will take time. Most will just require consistency on my part. So with this post I am dedicating myself publicly to accomplishing this task.
I'm also a crazy to-do list kind of girl. My husband knows, if I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed out because of things going on in our life, that the way to make me feel better is to tell me me make a list. So it is to daily to do lists that the day to day things are accomplished. Sometimes Stephen will even add things to the list and I really enjoy that because I know it is something important to him that is going to be accomplished that day.
Recently though I began reading a blog called She Learns As She Goes. This newly married lady has inspired me with not only her zest for life, but also her talent. There are things she is doing in her marriage that makes me wish I could start over and accomplish some of these things, but the past is the past and I will just implement them now with joie de vivre.
Today she set her goals for the month. These are things that take longer than a day, but it doesn't allow you to become lax by having an entire year to accomplish them. This allows me to have a close, but far enough away deadline so that I can accomplish some bigger goals. At the end of the month, she gives herself a report card grade of what she has accomplished. I have decided this would be a great thing for me to do so here I go with my goals for May.
1. Eat from my menu daily. I know for some this isn't a big deal, but for my family this can be a really big deal. With this being the worst time of the year for my allergies and sinuses, this will be difficult, but I know it will be better for us financially and physically.
2. Keep a company ready house. My house is never spotless and most of the times I'm fighting clutter and the chaos of children or my half finished projects. At one point I had written down what a company ready house was, that list is on one of the computers in the house. I need to find it and post it for the entire family.
3. Finishing reading 2 books. I am the world's worst person about starting a book and never finishing it. Don't ask me how many I have sitting around about half way finished. This month my goal is to finish at least 2 of those books.
4. Read to the kids daily. I'm usually really good about keeping up with this, but there are days that it isn't a priority. I need to make it a daily priority to make sure my children are being fed with good books, grammar and syntax.
5. Declutter my bedroom. My bedroom is the place where things go that no one else knows where they belong, at least according to my children. It is time the clutter moves out so it will become a relaxing place for my husband and I.
6. Clean Carpets. This hasn't been done in a year and boy can I tell. It is time to spruce up my carpets and see if what color they are again.
7. Declutter yarn. I only collect two things Books and Yarn. A while back my kids and some of their friends used my yarn for bombs. Some of them are still in tangles and some were tossed. I need to spend some time going through what I have to see if it is salvageable or time to pitch it. I have some big projects coming up and I want to make sure I have what I need before I start them.
8. Blog weekly. I have not been consistent in my blogging and I really regret this. There have been some wonderful things happen in my life that I think at the time would be great to share, but I never seem to get around to it. By making this a goal, I will make sure to accomplish this.
I know there are a lot of goals here, but some will be short and others will take time. Most will just require consistency on my part. So with this post I am dedicating myself publicly to accomplishing this task.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Cooking Adventures
When I was first married, I was foolish enough to believe that I knew everything there was to know about everything. Things were going along, "ok," until we started having children. It is amazing how much you really don't know when you have children. One of my biggest problems was the lack of money and learning how to cook with nothing. I was suppose to feed my family of 4 on less than $150 every two weeks, and some pay periods were easier than others.
It was at this time I turned to my cook books especially my Betty Crocker red checkered cook book that I had purchased two years before. My mom worked full time and when she was home we would get special treats of her amazing cooking. I was a bratty kid and paid very little attention. So here I am starting on my own and having to cook from scratch.
Now there are many recipes from that cook book that I have never tried, but for me it started with pastries. Stephen isn't much a cake eater, but he loves pies. Now if you ask my mom she hates making home made pie crust, so I never really learned. Here I am the day of my husband's birthday and I haven't made him a pie. There was no money to go out and purchase a pie crust, and I was in a panic. I decide to pull out my cook book and see if it could possibly have a pie crust recipe.
So there I sit at my kitchen table with Blue's Clues playing in the back ground, pouring over a never opened before cook book. I do think I took the wrapper off though. Here I find a pie crust recipe. There were two, single and double. Since I was making a pecan pie I did know to make only a single crust. I pull out the ingredients and begin.
The first crust I made didn't work. I didn't let it rest after making it, and it tore apart while I rolled it out. My second crust I let it sit on the table but it still tore apart. I rolled it back up and put in the fridge to try later. After sitting on my couch cuddling with my babies and crying for about an hour, I got up and decided that I should try again to make this crust. As it turned out, that is exactly what the crust needed time to chill out. I rolled it out, put it in the pan and it worked.
Since then I have never purchased a pie crust, I think Stephen would have a fit if I did. This carried on to making my own biscuits, cakes and other expensive pastries. Did you know that pancakes don't have to come from a box? We learned that the hard way as well and haven't gone back since.
This leads me to today. Since the new year we have become a gluten free and processed sugar free family. For several months I was in a panic. I had trouble finding recipes. I spent way to much time online searching. I spent way to much money trying to make it work and wasted way to many tears. Not to mention how much tension it created in my house because of how much money was being spent and I had no idea what was for dinner each night still.
Now I have cookbooks, actually a full shelf of them, but none of them was giving me what I need. You see over time I have become addicted to a menu mailer. First it was from www.savingdinner.com then I turned to thehomeschoolmom.com because she was free. Once she started charging I stopped using her website. We were saving money, but we weren't eating a gluten free, sugar free diet with her. I had found a few gluten free menus mailers, but they were still expensive and none of them went so far as to be sugar free as well.
In my search to make my house run more smoothly and spending less money, I went back to www.savingdinner.com. Low and behold, Leanne had added gluten free to her menu. The menu wasn't gluten free, but she told you how to change it to make it gluten free. Also, Leanne is a great supporter of removing processed sugar from our diets. This was exactly what we needed. Yes it was going to cost me some money, but if it would bring peace to my family, continue to help my William recover from his autism, then the cost was worth it.
Here's the catch, Leanne makes me cook things and put things together that I never would have before. Last week we had Cuban Flank Steak with Mango Rice. We were suppose to steam asparagus, but instead we wrapped it in turkey bacon and cooked it on the griddle (This comes from a dear friend of mine who started my addiction to this at a potluck. Thanks Lori B).
It was a huge leap of faith from this traditional southern girl, but it has so been worth it. Stephen is so busy eating and enjoying not only the food but the left overs the next day for work. William is continuing on his recovery, completing his math assignments alone and even reading and spelling three letter words.
This has also reminded me of something else. When I first started trying to cook from scratch, I would look at a recipe and just know if it was something my family would like. Over time I lost this and just made what was easy and convenient. With the menu mailer I'm still doing this, but I'm given a variety of healthy recipes.
This has also brought back the tradition of using visitor as guinea pigs. It was a tradition of mine to try new recipes when people come over. We had two new recipes on Sunday afternoon. It was the first time I had ever made a Dulce de Leche cake, and it certainly won't be the last now.
I guess if you get anything from my ramblings it is this. Don't be afraid to try a new recipe as it may become the new family favorite. Don't be afraid to stick with traditions, because if you don't they will be lost and that would be a tragedy. Always trust your instincts when it comes to food. You know what your family likes. Lastly if you are in a cooking rut, do some research. There are some amazing cooks out there, who really don't mind sharing.
What is on your menu tonight?
Sam
It was at this time I turned to my cook books especially my Betty Crocker red checkered cook book that I had purchased two years before. My mom worked full time and when she was home we would get special treats of her amazing cooking. I was a bratty kid and paid very little attention. So here I am starting on my own and having to cook from scratch.
Now there are many recipes from that cook book that I have never tried, but for me it started with pastries. Stephen isn't much a cake eater, but he loves pies. Now if you ask my mom she hates making home made pie crust, so I never really learned. Here I am the day of my husband's birthday and I haven't made him a pie. There was no money to go out and purchase a pie crust, and I was in a panic. I decide to pull out my cook book and see if it could possibly have a pie crust recipe.
So there I sit at my kitchen table with Blue's Clues playing in the back ground, pouring over a never opened before cook book. I do think I took the wrapper off though. Here I find a pie crust recipe. There were two, single and double. Since I was making a pecan pie I did know to make only a single crust. I pull out the ingredients and begin.
The first crust I made didn't work. I didn't let it rest after making it, and it tore apart while I rolled it out. My second crust I let it sit on the table but it still tore apart. I rolled it back up and put in the fridge to try later. After sitting on my couch cuddling with my babies and crying for about an hour, I got up and decided that I should try again to make this crust. As it turned out, that is exactly what the crust needed time to chill out. I rolled it out, put it in the pan and it worked.
Since then I have never purchased a pie crust, I think Stephen would have a fit if I did. This carried on to making my own biscuits, cakes and other expensive pastries. Did you know that pancakes don't have to come from a box? We learned that the hard way as well and haven't gone back since.
This leads me to today. Since the new year we have become a gluten free and processed sugar free family. For several months I was in a panic. I had trouble finding recipes. I spent way to much time online searching. I spent way to much money trying to make it work and wasted way to many tears. Not to mention how much tension it created in my house because of how much money was being spent and I had no idea what was for dinner each night still.
Now I have cookbooks, actually a full shelf of them, but none of them was giving me what I need. You see over time I have become addicted to a menu mailer. First it was from www.savingdinner.com then I turned to thehomeschoolmom.com because she was free. Once she started charging I stopped using her website. We were saving money, but we weren't eating a gluten free, sugar free diet with her. I had found a few gluten free menus mailers, but they were still expensive and none of them went so far as to be sugar free as well.
In my search to make my house run more smoothly and spending less money, I went back to www.savingdinner.com. Low and behold, Leanne had added gluten free to her menu. The menu wasn't gluten free, but she told you how to change it to make it gluten free. Also, Leanne is a great supporter of removing processed sugar from our diets. This was exactly what we needed. Yes it was going to cost me some money, but if it would bring peace to my family, continue to help my William recover from his autism, then the cost was worth it.
Here's the catch, Leanne makes me cook things and put things together that I never would have before. Last week we had Cuban Flank Steak with Mango Rice. We were suppose to steam asparagus, but instead we wrapped it in turkey bacon and cooked it on the griddle (This comes from a dear friend of mine who started my addiction to this at a potluck. Thanks Lori B).
It was a huge leap of faith from this traditional southern girl, but it has so been worth it. Stephen is so busy eating and enjoying not only the food but the left overs the next day for work. William is continuing on his recovery, completing his math assignments alone and even reading and spelling three letter words.
This has also reminded me of something else. When I first started trying to cook from scratch, I would look at a recipe and just know if it was something my family would like. Over time I lost this and just made what was easy and convenient. With the menu mailer I'm still doing this, but I'm given a variety of healthy recipes.
This has also brought back the tradition of using visitor as guinea pigs. It was a tradition of mine to try new recipes when people come over. We had two new recipes on Sunday afternoon. It was the first time I had ever made a Dulce de Leche cake, and it certainly won't be the last now.
I guess if you get anything from my ramblings it is this. Don't be afraid to try a new recipe as it may become the new family favorite. Don't be afraid to stick with traditions, because if you don't they will be lost and that would be a tragedy. Always trust your instincts when it comes to food. You know what your family likes. Lastly if you are in a cooking rut, do some research. There are some amazing cooks out there, who really don't mind sharing.
What is on your menu tonight?
Sam
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Learning to Cook
Not everyone was as blessed as I was to have a chef for a mom. She wasn't a Chef in a formal restaurant, but she was the head cook for the IUS Cafeteria and for ACBL. Mom learned to cook in mass quantities. Then she would come home and cook for the four of us. It was a hard change and we grew to love leftovers, well not really but don't tell her that.
At my bridal shower I received two cookbooks as a gift. One had some really great recipes and the other was empty for me to fill. Silly me put recipes in the book before I tried them. White out became my friend. The other cookbook had some neat recipes, but the ones that became staples for our family were the cookies, cakes and other desserts.
By the time I was 10 years old I was cooking meals myself. Mom was working crazy hours and I would be home with my brother alone after school. I would call her up asking what she wanted me to make and she would tell me with exact instructions. I learned a lot in that time and my dad and brother were the Guinea pigs. I learned that just because a hamburger is done on the outside doesn't mean it can't be raw on the inside, along with that was cooking a hamburger on 8 doesn't get it done on the inside, but will burn the outside. My favorite is more spices in a spaghetti sauce will not make it better only worse.
A year after I was married I purchased my first cookbook. It is by Betty Crocker and has become my favorite and my go to cookbook. I've learned so much from it and it has become my go to gift for new brides. It is the book my Audrey uses when she wants to cook as well.
All of these experiences have prepared me for where I am now, learning to cook all over again. I've been told for years, and most recently by Alton Brown, that cooking is a science. It wasn't how I was trained to cook, but using these new flours has changed everything and it has become a science. This has caused me to read more blogs to take the time and follow the recipe exactly and to cook things I never would have cooked before. I'm once again being stretched to be a better cook. I'm no Chef Ramsey, but I am determined to feed my family good, healthy meals.
One of my favorite things is to make homemade noodles. Now if you ask my dad he will say that the frozen ones are faster and almost just as good. When I told his mom this, who taught me how to make noodles her face was priceless. I've been looking for a gluten free version and came across one recently. I have all the ingredients and I'm ready to tackle this. I have a turkey that I'm cooking to make a stock for soup and hope to be able to eat it either today or tomorrow.
Wish me luck. I've been missing egg noodles and this might just be what I've been dreaming about.
At my bridal shower I received two cookbooks as a gift. One had some really great recipes and the other was empty for me to fill. Silly me put recipes in the book before I tried them. White out became my friend. The other cookbook had some neat recipes, but the ones that became staples for our family were the cookies, cakes and other desserts.
By the time I was 10 years old I was cooking meals myself. Mom was working crazy hours and I would be home with my brother alone after school. I would call her up asking what she wanted me to make and she would tell me with exact instructions. I learned a lot in that time and my dad and brother were the Guinea pigs. I learned that just because a hamburger is done on the outside doesn't mean it can't be raw on the inside, along with that was cooking a hamburger on 8 doesn't get it done on the inside, but will burn the outside. My favorite is more spices in a spaghetti sauce will not make it better only worse.
A year after I was married I purchased my first cookbook. It is by Betty Crocker and has become my favorite and my go to cookbook. I've learned so much from it and it has become my go to gift for new brides. It is the book my Audrey uses when she wants to cook as well.
All of these experiences have prepared me for where I am now, learning to cook all over again. I've been told for years, and most recently by Alton Brown, that cooking is a science. It wasn't how I was trained to cook, but using these new flours has changed everything and it has become a science. This has caused me to read more blogs to take the time and follow the recipe exactly and to cook things I never would have cooked before. I'm once again being stretched to be a better cook. I'm no Chef Ramsey, but I am determined to feed my family good, healthy meals.
One of my favorite things is to make homemade noodles. Now if you ask my dad he will say that the frozen ones are faster and almost just as good. When I told his mom this, who taught me how to make noodles her face was priceless. I've been looking for a gluten free version and came across one recently. I have all the ingredients and I'm ready to tackle this. I have a turkey that I'm cooking to make a stock for soup and hope to be able to eat it either today or tomorrow.
Wish me luck. I've been missing egg noodles and this might just be what I've been dreaming about.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
A New Chapter in My Life
My middle son William is on the autism spectrum. There are many reasons that I do not believe he should be there, but there are several reasons he is so we will just deal with it.
A couple of years ago we began to fight this battle by visiting a DAN doctor. After some testing we found out that his immune system is almost completely zapped. There were a few other things that were missing, but what was very prevalent was that he had a systemic yeast infection. We began fighting this with a probiotic and a year of Nystatin.
Things were going well, but I noticed that his teeth were looking funny so after taking him to the dentist we found out that the yeast had attacked his teeth and rotting them from the inside out. This is very odd as most cavities are on the outside of the teeth, but he was losing the core of his teeth. So after having oral surgery and having 8 teeth removed, one capped he was on the road to recovery or so we thought.
A year later we moved back home to Indiana. Once we were in our own place I began the task of taking my family on a journey of living a gluten free lifestyle. To say that some members of the family hated this change would be an understatement. I have made some fabulous dishes and made some HUGE mistakes along our journey, but we are starting to tread water.
One day while William was sitting down to take a math test, he told me that he didn't want my help. That he could do it on his own. I read the instructions to him for each section. I while he did his sections I helped Pip with his Language Arts test. It wasn't until later that day that I finally graded William's test. He had not missed a single problem. He had 100%. He had taken this test on his own with out ANY help from me. To make matters even better, the curriculum we use is a grade level ahead of where he is.
As I told Stephen about this after dinner that night, he asked what had changed. Now I have to confess, I have not been keeping a food journal like I should, but I knew what he had eaten for the past two days and something important was missing... White Sugar. It was at that moment that I remembered what his DAN doctor had told me 3 years before. Eventually I would have to take the leap and remove what the yeast feeds on, and that is sugar.
Over the holiday break I began the task of looking into what it would take to go not only Gluten Free, but Sugar Free. Going gluten free was daunting, but going sugar free scares me to death.
It is after much prayer and thought that I have decided we will go down this path. I have been told by his doctor to keep and journal and I really hate writing. He recommend that I try blogging, SO I am going to do this. I will fix our daily meals and take pictures of some of them. I will post my recipes, and our family reviews.
I know most who read this won't care and will think I'm crazy, but if I can help someone else along the path of living this lifestyle then it will be worth it. So starting tonight I will add something and see what happens.
Please pray for me. I'm going to need it to find food my family likes.
Samantha
A couple of years ago we began to fight this battle by visiting a DAN doctor. After some testing we found out that his immune system is almost completely zapped. There were a few other things that were missing, but what was very prevalent was that he had a systemic yeast infection. We began fighting this with a probiotic and a year of Nystatin.
Things were going well, but I noticed that his teeth were looking funny so after taking him to the dentist we found out that the yeast had attacked his teeth and rotting them from the inside out. This is very odd as most cavities are on the outside of the teeth, but he was losing the core of his teeth. So after having oral surgery and having 8 teeth removed, one capped he was on the road to recovery or so we thought.
A year later we moved back home to Indiana. Once we were in our own place I began the task of taking my family on a journey of living a gluten free lifestyle. To say that some members of the family hated this change would be an understatement. I have made some fabulous dishes and made some HUGE mistakes along our journey, but we are starting to tread water.
One day while William was sitting down to take a math test, he told me that he didn't want my help. That he could do it on his own. I read the instructions to him for each section. I while he did his sections I helped Pip with his Language Arts test. It wasn't until later that day that I finally graded William's test. He had not missed a single problem. He had 100%. He had taken this test on his own with out ANY help from me. To make matters even better, the curriculum we use is a grade level ahead of where he is.
As I told Stephen about this after dinner that night, he asked what had changed. Now I have to confess, I have not been keeping a food journal like I should, but I knew what he had eaten for the past two days and something important was missing... White Sugar. It was at that moment that I remembered what his DAN doctor had told me 3 years before. Eventually I would have to take the leap and remove what the yeast feeds on, and that is sugar.
Over the holiday break I began the task of looking into what it would take to go not only Gluten Free, but Sugar Free. Going gluten free was daunting, but going sugar free scares me to death.
It is after much prayer and thought that I have decided we will go down this path. I have been told by his doctor to keep and journal and I really hate writing. He recommend that I try blogging, SO I am going to do this. I will fix our daily meals and take pictures of some of them. I will post my recipes, and our family reviews.
I know most who read this won't care and will think I'm crazy, but if I can help someone else along the path of living this lifestyle then it will be worth it. So starting tonight I will add something and see what happens.
Please pray for me. I'm going to need it to find food my family likes.
Samantha
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